Kids and their influences!!!

Someone Please tell me that my son will outgrow this stage!!!  He absolutely adores a kid at school, who just encourages this behaviour.  He carries this kids stuff, lets him play with whatever he wants, follows all his 'orders' and worries constantly that he is going to be 'fired' from this kids club.  ARGH!  This kid is a fine kid.  It drives me crazy that my kid is getting into trouble, trying to show off for the approval of this kid!!!

I accidentally on purpose said to my kid that he shouldn't be friends with kids that treat him that way, while the kid was in hearing, however I didn't mean for his mother to hear it, as there was more to the story then just that comment.  AND I didn't mean to imply that this kid was part of the actual problem, ultimately the problem is that my kid won't stand up for himself.  Anyway I recognize that that was a mistake and I went to apologize to her today... however obviously I had touched a nerve, and she told me that she had been discussing it with other people and that I should have come to her if it involved her kid.. which if it directly involved her kid I might, but it doesn't.  He doesn't have to change, it has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with mine being assertive.  Plus I don't really appreciate having been the topic of discussion all weekend, but I do understand why.

So anyway  I feel bad that I made her question her kid, I feel bad that she was worried enough to discuss it with other people.  I think she felt that I had attacked her kid, and I didn't mean to at all.  I did apologize but left the conversation unfinished because we were interrupted by kids.   I hope that it was just that we were both uncomfortable, and that she did hear the apology and won't be worried about it too much anymore.

And I will try and have my kid understand that friends maybe shouldn't treat each other that way, and if he gets 'fired' its not the end of the world.

My oh my but its been a while.

What sparked my interest today was a bunch of women who think that what they are doing is not bullying.  I USED to belong to a facebook group that was an offshoot from an original larger mothers group.  This particular group was supposedly for the more opinionated and not so easily offended women and mothers.  However, I believe in actuality, it turned into a support group of women who are mean to others.

You know how, when you are with your friends and you see someone wearing a terrible outfit you glance at each other and make a face, or maybe a quiet comment? What you don't do are say it too their face, or loud enough they can hear and if they did hear you would probably be upset and apologize.  OR the majority of people would, I hope.  Well, one of these women has an issue with a woman (Lady B) who is hitting on her husband, instead of dealing with the issue, she thought it was appropriate to post a picture of the woman to this group, upon which many people commented on her looks, and from there her assumed habits and personality.  Then some women discovered that they could see other pictures from her profile as the original women gifted us with the ladies full name.  The women whose husband is being hit on (lady A) set up Lady B by getting her to meet 'her husband' only it was her husband, her and her friends.  Lady A then proceeded to tell us all what Lady B was wearing, how she looked etc during the meeting at a bar.  The women on the group commented on the updates with things Lady A should say to Lady B, as well as many opinions on her character, looks and personality.  I don't know how it ended as I left the group disgusted.

 Now obviously Lady B shouldn't be messing with a married man. But I can't help but be reminded of the phone calls in jr high from "friends" where they tried to set you up to say something mean about another friend, who just so happened to be on the party line listening in.  I don't really think Lady A said much to Lady B, but I found the behaviour of the group and the encouragement from Lady A disgusting.  I kept picturing 6 women standing around 1 women yelling derogatory names, and sexual innuendos. I hope they would never actually do it in real life, but I was disgusted that they would even do it in cyber life.  The group is made up of 100 people, it is by no means a small group of intimate friends (which still doesn't make it okay) it is not beyond the realm of possibility that Lady B could hear about it.

I know that there is nothing anyone can do about these women, and as they are all mothers unfortunately they will probably raise their children in their example.  It is a shame.  I feel that cyber friends and groups allow traits that are not socially acceptable to be encouraged. Children who would begin to understand that they shouldn't bully, may be encouraged by their cyber friends.  The general rules : if you're not nice, no one will like you, don't work because other bullies will join with you in cyber land.  It seems anonymous but it doesn't make it hurt less, and although I don't really care what others think of me, and would delete myself from those people.  I know of others who fall to pieces because someone says a negative thing about them, even in cyber land.

I like the rule, if you wouldn't say it to there face then don't write it.  BUT if you were with 6 other like minded people then you might say it in real life, which is the difference, in cyber land you have built in support.  I think making it easier to be a little bit meaner in real life, then you might have otherwise been, because you know when you go home there will be a group of women who will tell you you did the right thing, and you shouldn't have to put up with that...


Thanks for reading yet another rambling poorly written post from me lol

MAD

MAD!!! that's what i am right now SOOOO MAD why? why you ask, for no other reason than hormones (and a slight lack of sleep but that's negligible).  That stupid, should be a four letter word, word.  Those stupids things are making me take everything personally, including every tiny annoying thing that the kids do today, even the fact that I can't get a hold of a family member (although I only left a message this morning and obviously if she was out for the day, she still wouldn't be home!).   GRRRR then my lovely well meaning, fantastic husband comes home (exert: despite how lovely he is, hormones make me say that he just got home from an easy day of work, with 4-5 hrs spent travelling, and he enjoyed a work lunch at a restaurant an hour before dinner) and asks me irritating questions like "how was your day?" and, with the kids hanging of him, "what can I do to help?".  These questions drive me crazy! Obviously my day sucked and is still sucking... AND obviously you can go freaking play with the kids, why do I need to even tell you that!!!  bah anyway I had way more cooler things to write about but no drive until I got sooo mad and then I was too mad to write about anything else...

Some other topics that I may get to writing about eventually are: vegetables for a local farm, finding cancer free (ahem I mean without possible carcinogens) soaps, lotions, detergents, and foods.  (not in that order).  SO in the event anyone is looking at this then toss a comment up because I would be WAY more likely to actually update if I thought anyone else was reading this :)

Gardening?

I think I need to garden properly this year... I have had some sort of garden with veggies or herbs for at least 5 yrs except last year, we paid for sod in or back yard (long story) and I didn't plan a place for a garden and didn't want to rip up sod!!  so I have garden beds along both sides of my house, one is vacant but fairly shady and one is planted with various plants and  roses... I am hoping I can come up with veggies that will grow in the shady location and in and around the other plants and roses... Also I have a super hot front entrance to my house that I should be able to grow tomatoes and strawberries in IF the deer don't eat them... 
Anyone have any ideas?  Every time I try to look it up I get overwhelmed.  I need some one to make me a schedule of what to plant what weeks and where!  If nothing else I should be able to do potatoes, and peas and beans...  I am going to have to go outside during the day and see how much sun the other side of the house gets I guess.

Okay well here's to growing my own food on my own property.
My other option is to 'borrow' property from my mom but I haven't asked her yet..

Personalities

Okay So turns out I have multiple personalities... kind of.  I am polite when with husbands work personnel (this is akin to 'on your best behaviour' when I was a kid), I am outgoing with my friends, I am bland when meeting other mommies, and surface friendly when meeting other peoples friends... Facebook has ruined this for me... I have friends on my page who are work colleagues, high school friends, high school aged cousins, real friends and people whose lives I like to spy on.  I don't want all these people to know every aspect of my life, and changing every comment to appeal to a certain audience is not going to happen.  So I have created an alternate alias that is unknown to anyone except me, my husband, and sister (who opened the alias with me to spy on people).
  This way I can buy things, post comments on dangerous topics without feeling like my friends will hate me, and barter with people who work for my husband without them knowing that they are essentially selling to their boss :) I understand that I should supposedly be ok with who I am and if my friends don't like me fine.  However I am a strong, opinionated, intelligent, and well educated (despite the lack of English language abilities) woman and my friends are the same.  I am fine with me but I prefer to not offend people, or get into confrontations with people that will never end well.  I absolutely understand people have their own opinions, beliefs or choices... I Totally object to people that won't allow a difference of opinion, belief, or choice to exist.  I am pro choice, I have no religion and can't fathom believing in an almighty God or that there is only one... But those topics have a lot of very strong arguments for all sides and if a person can't say.. "well I don't agree but that's okay"  Then I would rather avoid the conflict altogether....  So I refrain from giving my opinion in a lot of matters which I feel strongly about because of the damn ticker that will rat on me to my family members, or mother friends who thinks its fine to drink during play group...

my first post

Hi,  I will warn you now, I have terrible grammar and I haven't decided if I care enough to try to fix it for those reading this blog.  I mostly try to write with appropriate grammar when posting on other public forums so people don't assume I am an idiot with poor grammar skills and disregard my comment.  I am NOT an idiot, and I know I have terrible grammar (and sometimes spelling) I just don't care.  I am very impatient and don't want to take the time to spell check/ look up where the stupid comma goes.  And (see the bad grammar there) I am hilarious, and if I take the time to make sure my hilarious comments are grammatically correct, they are so not funny anymore.

  I have no idea what I am going to use this blog for or if I will ever write here again but it seems like a good idea for now.  I think at the end I am supposed to ask some inane question to get you folks to leave a comment and 'share' your lives with me..but really I don't care.  I will delete your comments if they're mean and pretend I have no idea what you are talking about if you bring it up again...

When I was little I wanted to buy an island and make it a new country so I could be Queen and rule ALL... clearly this didn't happen but instead I went to school, got married, had kids, and rule my home :)
please note the fish to the right,  they are cute and weird...